Taking Care of Business… Drunk.

17 Apr

You ever have that moment when you wake up Sunday morning and you stumble into the kitchen to make coffee and shove a muffin in your mouth while it’s brewing and then you can’t wait for the pot to finish so you quickly pull a Mission Impossible and switch the pot with your mug and then switch it back and then add Coffee Mate creamer and then sit down on your couch with your knees tucked in, mmmmming while sipping your warm coffee and then you catch a glimpse of yourself in the reflection of the glass over the framed image on the wall and a hundred quick flashes of mistake moments run a train through your mind and you start feeling like a total drunken idiot and start half thinking about how embarrassed you’ll be once your coffee kicks in and your mind wakes up and then you finally call your best friend back after you realize you have 13 missed calls from her?

Well, THIS lady is going to wake up tomorrow, make her pot of coffee, do the Mission Impossible, sit down, catch a glimpse of herself, and frantically try to figure out why her hair looks so damn good all of a sudden. And then a hundred images of being in a nice salon in Hollywood around 3:30-8pm will run a train through her mind and she’ll remember bits and pieces of how her amazing stylist dealt with her drunk ass as she mumbled, stumbled, and jerkily slept through her several hours worth of salon hair treatments. She will find a receipt later probably for a lot more than if she would have been sober, speaking English words correctly, not stumbling back and forth from the bathroom every so often, and then nodding off and jerking her head awake – that thing that boys in school are known to do during Spanish class.

She might remember the entire staff wondering how to deal with her, but graciously treating her like she’s a normal person.  Maybe her stylist was like, Thank God, I finally get someone I that won’t be analyzing and freaking out over every snip I make and stroke of color I brush.  It was probably actually nice to have a client that just slept there while she did her thing.

Makes me think she’s on to something. Not the salon part, but the passed out drunk part of doing necessary things. Maybe I should take some shots and then hit up the dentist? Or enjoy a bottle of wine before a wax?

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