April is for Losers

30 Mar

Well, here I am literally GULPING coffee so that I get it all before it goes cold way too quickly.

You know when you end things with someone, and it all of a sudden hits you that you’ve dated this person over and over again and you wonder why you keep choosing the same assholes over and over and then you’re like, NO. These assholes keep picking ME!
 
Me too.
 
I did that last night.
 
So. Not that I was ever not single, but I am even single-er now.
 
My psychic landlord did predict that I’d date a bunch of losers in April, so I’m free to start meeting all those fucking assholes now. Yay.
 
The most annoying part is that I started settling for someone because they were there and it was easy. My brother and sister met him last week and said that it was like watching two Kate’s interact. And that just can’t be good. I think one of me is plenty.
 
So here I am at work. Getting high on caffeine, well, trying at least.
 
The credit card companies are calling, my student loan grim reaper is standing behind me right now (he thinks I can’t see him), and I’m fat.
 
But I am nowhere near unhappy. I feel like I might never be anything but happy, probably because the meds I’m on make that near impossible, but I won’t let these things get me down! (aaaaaaaand neither will my meds…)
 
Fast forward to several hours later, I have paid my credit cards and will tackle my loan when I get home. I have planned when I will get an oil change and that I will get my hair cut tonight.
 
I will then dye my hair myself later, as usual, and will most likely make my bathroom look like an illegal abortion clinic (red hair dye looks alarmingly like blood, of that sort).
 
I will then book a hair appointment with the girl who does my sister’s and friend’s hair, to fix it after I’ve done it poorly as it won’t come out the way I want it to now that i’ve decided to go lighter. Just my roots will be perfect, and I will look like I’m balding.
 
I’ll start calling my mom again ten times a day, because she will become my new best friend with whom I’ll call when I’m alone, which will be often, and she’ll feel bad for me but really happy for her because I’ve been too busy for our 300 minute chats.
 
I’ll set up internet in the next few minutes because I can’t start re-watching the DVDs I have that I’ve watched the other 3 times I’ve moved and not set up internet or cable for the first few months. I’ve seen The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and How to Lose a Guy In Ten Days so many times… sooooo many times…. like, realistically around 30 each. That’s horrible. And those are just two of the DVDs I watch over and over and over and over and over.
 
I will sign up for a writing class now that I have money and be HAPPY.
 
I’ve realized that the only thing that could truly make me happy is performing/entertaining. I want to make people laugh. I want to bring smiles to their faces, and I want to be creative. I need my creative outlet, and since I cannot be a ceramicist or a painter for a living, I must perform!
 
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