Oops Everyone Thinks I Crapclogged the Toilet…

1 Feb

Today is my second day at my new job.  I am working on the Grammys. Just now I went to use the restroom. The restroom is in a gym.

Yes.

I work in what used to be an elementary school that was turned into a production office.

So the entire production team is spread out in sections of desks in an old elementary school gym.

I walk into the gym.

Everyone sees me.

I open the unisex, lockable, one person bathroom.

Then I walk out, after a flush of the toilet sounds throughout the gym.

There is an absolutely huge two-parter shit in the toilet.

No, no. Not my shit. But that doesn’t matter anymore, now does it? Because every single person in that gym who goes into that bathroom, will think I left that bad boy in there.  Except for that one asshole who is relieved now that they got away with it. The worst part, was that I will see that turd in my dreams, I could draw it for you. For some reason, I can’t stop seeing it super vividly in my mind. I basically know what this person’s butthole looks like based on the shape of the damn crap. And what they ate. I want to vomit.

So now I’m the random new girl at the front desk who looks nice and done up who takes massive craps. I haven’t even pooped at this place yet. Not even once.

I walked into the main assistant’s office to tell her there was a clog in the bathroom, and she told me to put a sign on the door.

No thanks. Not everyone is going to walk into that bathroom after me, and I don’t want to announce it to the people who wouldn’t have ever known, that I just took a gigantic dumper in the potty, sorry.

So.

Ugh.

P.s. Sorry I haven’t posted in a million years, my life has been hectic minus anything funny to write about.  I’ve not been inspired by much, but I just finally joined a gym, and would be surprised if nothing funny came out of that.

 

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